Last week I talked about how comparison poisons our relationships with other women, and how competition is the cure. But as moms, facing comparison in our hearts is just the beginning. We get to deal with it reflected in our kids too.

I love my kids more than I ever thought possible…and it’s still never enough. When they view God’s love through the lens of my imperfect love for them, and assume that it isn’t enough either, it’s gut wrenching.

We definitely haven’t arrived in this area. There’s still lots of unhealthy comparison in our family. It seems to stem from fear of not enough (love, attention,  ______).

While we’re helping the kids work through that fear we’ve also found ways to help them compete with each other and against their former selves.

Their favorite form of competition is wrestling with their Abba. Ever since the area rug in our living became a wrestling mat a decade ago, the grunting, posturing, and verbal sparring have become so important to our kids. I understood that boys need to test their strength, but I’ve been surprised to see our daughters compete just as fiercely and relish victory just as passionately as our sons.

I think it’s because children need to measure themselves to understand their growth. Giving them opportunities to compete against their less mature self is huge. When they take turns wrestling their Abba, he challenges each one according to what they can handle.

He doesn’t just test them physically, he probes their inner game. He taunts them, exposing their insecurities and their courage. They feel themselves getting stronger by measuring themselves against his strength. They experience his strength, and feel victorious when he yields to them.

Come to think of it, isn’t that what we all need? To wrestle with our Abba, to be reassured of His strength, and feel ourselves prevail as we strive with Him?

When we measure ourselves against His other kids, we develop a skewed self image. We settle for less than our inheritance.

When we measure ourselves against His strength and maturity, we feel safe, yet pushed past our edges.

How can you help your kids compete against themselves instead of each other?

How are you being healed and challenged as you wrestle with your Abba?